Would you prefer to marry the person you love or prefer to you fall in love with the person you get married to?

This has been a topic of debate perhaps for decades. Different people have different views on this. For years and years arranged marriage was an accepted norm in the Indian community. The concept of love marriage wasn’t very well understood or appreciated or to some extent accepted in Indian societies for a long period of time. The bride was traditionally picked by the parents for their son and the son would spend the entire life with that person. Typically there wasn’t enough time or opportunity before the marriage to understand the person or analyze the compatibility. You were expected to get married and make it all work, in other words learn to love the person you married and become compatible with each other. It’s what the great Indian Yoga Guru “Bikram Choudhury” says while teaching Yoga “It’s an Indian marriage - no choice”. This also reminds me of a dialogue from an Indian movie in which the hero says “We are born once, we die once and we only fall in love once”. I feel that it’s true. Some people especially in western cultures would argue against this and say “What are you talking about? You fall in love number of times in your life and you get married to the person you are in love with. If it works, it works but if it doesn’t you get divorced and you move on. There is no such thing as compromise or making it work”. I fail to appreciate this theory. I am a firm believer of “Making it work”. There is no need for the word “Impossible” in this relationship. I say “Impossible here just means “I m possible!!” Think about it.

This concept of arranged marriage is almost nonexistent in the western societies. This topic raises their eye brows. I have seen it several times being argued when it comes up in any discussions. Most of the times the response is “what do you mean by arranged marriage?” or “How can you marry someone you don’t even know?” This is also getting lost within the so called next Indian generation who is growing up in western societies in North America. It’s also termed as “Generation Gap” sometimes.

Over the years this philosophy appears to have changed in Indian society as well. Now a day’s love marriage is quite common and it’s also quite common to see these marriages crumble after a few years. When in love everything is rosy in the beginning which makes you think that the person you are dating is really your soul mate. Some argue it’s because when you are in love you portray your best to the other person but when it comes to living together it’s a whole different ball game. Somehow all the love vanishes behind the day to day fights; arguments over petty issues. But in an arranged marriage you really haven’t see the best part of the person until you actually start cohabiting. All the fun starts after marriage, you learn to adjust and make compromises where ever necessary and work really hard to make it all work.

So is it really true – Do couples in arranged marriage make better soul mates VS the couples in love marriage?

Are you happy with what you have? -Yeah Dil Maange More

It's a question which i guess we all ask ourselves from time to time? At least I have asked myself this question over a million times. The question and its answer could be relative to a lot of us.

Some of the related questions which come to my mind are:

• Why is it that we run after that 5% that we do not have instead of enjoying the 95% that we have?
• Why is the grass always greener on the other side?
• Is more of what we want the right answer?
• Are we measuring our satisfaction based on our desires or our needs?
• Why do we always say that if I have more clothes, more money, better car, bigger house, 1 million $$ in the bank - I will be happy.

Do we know how much is more? I haven't seen or known anybody who has a million dollars and is the most content and happiest man. In fact i don't even understand the word "More" as over the years it has lost its meaning to me.

The problem is that we keep running at 100 miles/hour because everyone else is doing so. We think if we don't keep up with this pace we will not be able to survive in this world. There is nothing wrong in running at that speed every single minute of your life but the question is how long can you keep doing that? One day your body will give up. Wouldn't it be better to take a break and stop for a moment and think what is really important to you?

Jobs will come and go. No matter how important you think you are in the place you work, nobody and I mean nobody is indefensible. It won't take long for your company to find a replacement for you if you weren't there. Does that make you feel happy or sad?

What really matters to you?

• Your health
• Your family, your wife, your kids
• The happy time you spend with your loved one
• Your friends
  
• How well so you manage stress?

and what is it that you really want from life?

I once read a great post "Stress" which goes something like this

A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, "how heavy is this glass of water? " Answers called out ranged from 8oz. to 20oz.

The lecturer replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it. If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance." In each case, it's the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

He continued, "And that's the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won't be able to carry on. " As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we're refreshed, we can carry on with the burden."

"So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don't carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you're carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can."

"Relax; pick them up later after you've rested. Life is short. Enjoy it!"

Here is another such great post about happiness :

BURNT BISCUITS..............

When I was a kid, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burned biscuits in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my mom and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that biscuit and eat every bite!

When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he said: "Honey, I love burned biscuits."

Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, "Your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides - a little burnt biscuit never hurt anyone!"

You know, life is full of imperfect things.....and imperfect people. I'm not the best at hardly anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everyone else.

What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each others faults - and choosing to celebrate each others differences - is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.

And that's my prayer for you today. That you will learn to take the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your life and lay them at the feet of God. Because in the end, He's the only One who will be able to give you a relationship where a burnt biscuit isn't a deal-breaker!

We could extend this to any relationship. In fact, understanding is the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship!

"Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket - keep it in your own."

I remember my grandfather so much when I talk about all this above because he was one man who knew how to stay happy and content with what he had and if i could be 1/100 of what he was I would be the happiest person on this earth!!