Solitude – an innovative way to rediscover yourself

“I never found the companion that was as companionable as solitude. We are for the most part more lonely when we go abroad than when we stay in our chambers.” ~Henry David Thoreau

Merriam Webster dictionary defines “Solitude” as “a condition of being apart from all human beings or of being cut off by wish or circumstances from one's usual associates or simply the state of being alone”.

The more I think about the meaning of this word, the more I ask myself “Is it really needed, can it do me any good?” and the more I find myself arguing both in favor and against it.

Here is my argument in favor of it first.

You however don’t need to be a monk to find solitude, nor do you need to be a hermit to enjoy it.

It’s indeed a lot art in these days of ultra-connectedness especially when you have so many innovative means like computer, internet, cell phones, chat, email, face book, twitter, and smart phones for all the geeks out there. How much more do we need to stay connected? I mean none of these existed 30 years ago when I was growing up. Now I find myself getting restless that one day I don’t check my email and I don’t remember doing the same for snail mail when I was growing up.

I don’t remember the last time I walked alone on a water front /sea shore and enjoyed the melodious music of the waves or read a novel under the shade of a tree or read a printed news paper or for that matter just drove to enjoy the beauty of nature. I haven’t written a snail mail letter in over 15-20 years and if you ask me why, I would probably reply with an answer “who writes snail mails these days or haven’t you heard of email?” Now a day’s almost everything that I do requires my laptop and internet for e.g. I want to get directions, I go to MapQuest or Google, I want to check the latest news, I go to CNN or Times of India on my laptop or on a smart phone, etc. I cannot imagine my life without the internet, can you? We have all become a slave of technology and in doing so we have forgotten to truly be ourselves and enjoy the greatest gift of God “Life”.

Sometimes I really question “Is technology is a boon or a bane?” Solitude has become all the more necessary in this world of technology geeks.

Solitude- an eternal bliss

If you think about it, the best art is in fact created in solitude, it’s only when we are alone that we try to reach into ourselves and find truth, beauty, soul, peace. Some of the biggest problems and puzzles are solved when you spend time alone to ponder. Some of the most famous philosophers take daily walks, and it is on these walks that they discover their inner thoughts. Some of the best blogs are written in solitude funny isn’t it?

Just a few of the benefits from solitude that come to my mind:

• Provides the food for thought
• We face our demons , our worst fears, and find ways to deal with them
• Provides the opportunity to unwind, and find peace
• Time to reflect on our mistakes, and learn from it
• Isolation from the influences of others helps us to listen to our own inner voice
• Quiet helps us to appreciate the smaller things that get lost in the roar

The real benefits of solitude cannot be expressed through words, but can really be found in doing. Sometimes you really need to break away from the slavery of the technology and this internet world to rediscover yourself. You need to disconnect from email, from Face book and Twitter i.e. from forums and social media, from instant messaging and chat, from news sites and blogs, turn off your mobile device; turn off the idiot box aka TV, the computer. All you need to do is to just pick up a notebook and start jotting down your thoughts with a pencil or a pen or take the canvas and reveal your artistic abilities. You will be surprised with your abilities.

Can you really argue against it?

Am I out of my mind talking about “solitude”? We would go back to the dark ages if we start talking about recluse. God created human beings to connect with each other. Human beings are social animals, they need to share, talk, meet and find a companion. Computer and internet are the greatest inventions of its time and being an IT consultant, why would I want to deny myself from things that make my life easy especially when I earn my living from it?

Having said all this I would still love to just get away from this mechanical life and bless myself with an opportunity to rediscover myself and enjoy the eternal bliss of solitude. Have you tried it yet?

“I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity.” ~Albert Einstein

The Journey from Ordinary to Extra Ordinary

“Every morning, we are born again” Buddhist Maxim

What do you do to get through the day? Human beings have a remarkable ability to put on a Teflon coat and pretend that there is an unknown force that will protects them from the hardships of their outrageous fortune. We often find ourselves riding the emotional roller-coaster and like all roller-coasters we tend to feel sick with fear and anticipation on the way up and scream on the way down. We get through the day by and large by thinking these things in our head but it still feels like a struggle to survive.

Life shouldn’t be ordinary and it shouldn’t just be about keeping our head above water. So how about adopting some principals in your life which can help make the journey feel a lot smoother than it being a bumpy ride and to help live your life to the full?

• Life is a Precious Gift – Make the most of it
• Respect to be respected
• Inspire by being an inspiration
• Stick to your principals and morals
• Compliment others at least once a day
• Find joy in everything you do
• Prepare for the “unexpected”
• Don’t worry be happy
• Smile and the world smiles with you

Remember we get a fresh start each morning. It’s a great idea to review these ideas every morning to get your head in the game. Just to be reminded that life is precious and every morning is crucial. There are days when I feel completely disoriented and when I wake up those days feeling sad, stressed or unexcited I’m reminded to find joy in life. Most importantly the principles take away the temptation to simply survive – I remember that life is too short to be ordinary.

I believe that every human being is born for a reason on this planet earth. No one knows what that is or has an easy means to discover it. The journey from “Ordinary” to “Extra ordinary” always seems long and tedious and while this may be quite an "ordinary" post but the small things that I have mentioned above can make a big difference. You just need to keep your chin up and continue to march along the journey of life and hope to find it somewhere along the route. You can make it happen......

Infidelity – the easy way to fame.

They say “Behind a successful man there is a woman and behind an unsuccessful man there are two - or more in some cases”.

Infidelity probably one of most discussed topics of these days all over media. Do you ever wonder why?

This is probably the most dangerous poison for any relationship and yet it has becoming a popular medium to become the cynosure. In fact it becoming a “must do” celebrities act. I can’t remember the last time I opened a news site or turned on the radio and did not hear it in the news.

It worked pretty well for “Tiger Woods” as if he was desperate for more publicity. But the truth is like a lot of other people he also has feet of clay. Talk about publicity craving - “Ricky Martin”announced that he is Gay as if people were just dying to hear about his preference of partner.

Is this prevalent mostly in marital relationships or does it happen in just about any relationship? At some point I used to think that its only men who have “the seven year itch” but the media has proved me wrong. I can’t believe the number of women who succumb to this.

• Why is it that after a few years of being together, we tend to seek the gratification of our superficial desires from someone other than our better half? Is it out of boredom or due to petty differences or is it just that you want to try something new?
  
• Do you crave for it because it is a forbidden fruit?
  
• Does it add spice to your life?
• Do marital vows have any meaning or is it just a formality that we go through to get hitched?
• Do people ever think of the impact of their deeds on their partner or their kids?
• Why do we want to make our life more complicated by doing so than it already is?
• Why is it that a man typically thinks that it’s “Ok” for a male to do so but not for a “female”. What are these men smoking? Who gave them the right to think so? Are they being MCP’s (Male Chauvinist Pigs)?

The easiest answer to most of these questions seems to be “I don’t know”. We see it in movies everyday so can you blame media for promoting it?

The periphery of this word is beyond anyone’s imagination. It not only happens in relationships but is applicable to most common things we do in our day to day life for example finances in the form of sneaky spending behind your partner’s back, job – back biting, exams – cheating, procrastinating - when you know that something really needs your attention, hogging on desserts when trying to lose weight and blaming it on stress, circumstances etc.

Are human beings basically weak by nature or does circumstances have any role to play in this? Should they just expect these things to happen at some point in the life or is there a way to be strong and fight these desires? Think about it….

Welcome the spring into your life

Spring is in the air. The 6-8 month long Canadian winter is finally coming to an end. Nature is waking up, earth is booming with fresh life. You can smell the excitement, the energy, the hope in the air, the vibrant colors are back in the malls. It’s the time of the year when the weather becomes unpredictable in GTA with variation of 20-30 degrees. It’s hot one day with +15 Celsius and its freezing the next day with -15 Celsius.

Spring is the time for renewing your life, refueling it by filling the gas tank with higher octane energy, marking new beginnings and for planting the seed for some fresh thinking. It’s the time to emerge from the shadows of hibernation, shake off the lethargy and embrace the future with joy.

It’s the time of the year when people typically do house cleaning. So while you are getting rid of the unwanted stuff from your house, how about applying this same concept to your life this year and use this time of the year to spring clean your mind, your thoughts?

Some of the things that I plan to do this year to prevent my mind from wandering back into the caves of darkness are:

Remove the cob webs from the heart – We all have difficult moments in our life. We come across people who are really mean to us for no reason. We carry the grudge and the complaints in our heart all the time. Some of us including me never every forget the insults and feel the burden and pain deep down inside. Why do we do this? Why can’t we just forgive and forget and move on in the life? I have realized the more we think about those moments the more they hurt. I am going to take the time this year to clean up that clutter in my heart and be more forgiving. I will learn to let go.

“DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS.”

Break an old unhealthy habit – Why do we always have to run at 100 miles/hour? Is it a race against time or do we fear that if we don’t run as fast as the next person, we will be crushed/defeated in this race of life? In this sprint of life we pick up a lot of unhealthy habits without even realizing, for example procrastinating, and drinking to beat the stress, over eating. We eat to live and not live to eat and getting high does not get rid of your problems. You have a bad day at work – what do you do? You go back home and take the frustration out on your spouse or your kids as if they had anything to do with it. This year make a commitment to yourself to break away from at least one unhealthy habit.

Speak my mind – How many times do you really speak your mind? Are you afraid of asking questions? Do you think people will think you are stupid in a meeting if you ask that question? No question is considered stupid only if you make an effort to ask. I know it takes a lot of effort to “Call a spade a spade” in front of aggressive people. But trust me you will feel much better if you pour your heart out rather than keeping it inside. So make a promise to yourself, trust your instincts and speak up.

Connect with an old friend – Life goes on. We move from one school to another, one job to another in some cases like me from one country to another several times. We meet a lot of people during this journey, some of which leave an unforgettable impression on our mind and make a special place in our heart. But do we always stay in contact with our old friends? Recently one of my really good friends from school looked me up on the internet and found me on the face book. I can’t express how wonderful it felt to connect back with an old acquaintance. We talked for hours about the fun school days and laughed like crazy. My friend posted a 24 year old class picture from the school time and it left me reminiscing about “The wonder years” of my life. So go ahead and seek out that old friend who you have been procrastinating to connect back with.

Find that swiffer for your mind and heart

Let’s all use this opportunity in life to create a mind that feels shiny as a mirror, fresh as a blooming flower and be ready to face the renewal of spring. Find that swiffer which will enable the mental dusting, cleaning and polishing.

Welcome the spring with open arms into your life and believe me the effort you put in to plant the seeds of happiness in your life and to nurture and guide it in the right direction, it will pay off with the fruits of gratification.