Everyday in your life you come across people, situations, experiences which give you inspiration to do something wonderful, make it count or feel happy. About 5% of your happiness and well being is affected by the things that happen to you, 95% is affected by how you react to it. Think about it!!
What do you do to get through the day? Human beings have a remarkable ability to put on a Teflon coat and pretend that there is an unknown force that will protects them from the hardships of their outrageous fortune. We often find ourselves riding the emotional roller-coaster and like all roller-coasters we tend to feel sick with fear and anticipation on the way up and scream on the way down. We get through the day by and large by thinking these things in our head but it still feels like a struggle to survive.
Life shouldn’t be ordinary and it shouldn’t just be about keeping our head above water. So how about adopting some principals in your life which can help make the journey feel a lot smoother than it being a bumpy ride and to help live your life to the full?
Life is a Precious Gift – Make the most of it
Respect to be respected
Inspire by being an inspiration
Stick to your principals and morals
Compliment others at least once a day
Find joy in everything you do
Prepare for the “unexpected”
Don’t worry be happy
Smile and the world smiles with you
Remember we get a fresh start each morning. It’s a great idea to review these ideas every morning to get your head in the game. Just to be reminded that life is precious and every morning is crucial. There are days when I feel completely disoriented and when I wake up those days feeling sad, stressed or unexcited I’m reminded to find joy in life. Most importantly the principles take away the temptation to simply survive – I remember that life is too short to be ordinary.
I believe that every human being is born for a reason on this planet earth. No one knows what that is or has an easy means to discover it. The journey from “Ordinary” to “Extra ordinary” always seems long and tedious and while this may be quite an "ordinary" post but the small things that I have mentioned above can make a big difference. You just need to keep your chin up and continue to march along the journey of life and hope to find it somewhere along the route. You can make it happen......
They say “Behind a successful man there is a woman and behind an unsuccessful man there are two - or more in some cases”.
Infidelity probably one of most discussed topics of these days all over media. Do you ever wonder why?
This is probably the most dangerous poison for any relationship and yet it has becoming a popular medium to become the cynosure. In fact it becoming a “must do” celebrities act. I can’t remember the last time I opened a news site or turned on the radio and did not hear it in the news.
It worked pretty well for “Tiger Woods” as if he was desperate for more publicity. But the truth is like a lot of other people he also has feet of clay. Talk about publicity craving - “Ricky Martin”announced that he is Gay as if people were just dying to hear about his preference of partner.
Is this prevalent mostly in marital relationships or does it happen in just about any relationship? At some point I used to think that its only men who have “the seven year itch” but the media has proved me wrong. I can’t believe the number of women who succumb to this.
Why is it that after a few years of being together, we tend to seek the gratification of our superficial desires from someone other than our better half? Is it out of boredom or due to petty differences or is it just that you want to try something new?
Do you crave for it because it is a forbidden fruit?
Does it add spice to your life?
Do marital vows have any meaning or is it just a formality that we go through to get hitched?
Do people ever think of the impact of their deeds on their partner or their kids?
Why do we want to make our life more complicated by doing so than it already is?
Why is it that a man typically thinks that it’s “Ok” for a male to do so but not for a “female”. What are these men smoking? Who gave them the right to think so? Are they being MCP’s (Male Chauvinist Pigs)?
The easiest answer to most of these questions seems to be “I don’t know”. We see it in movies everyday so can you blame media for promoting it?
The periphery of this word is beyond anyone’s imagination. It not only happens in relationships but is applicable to most common things we do in our day to day life for example finances in the form of sneaky spending behind your partner’s back, job – back biting, exams – cheating, procrastinating - when you know that something really needs your attention, hogging on desserts when trying to lose weight and blaming it on stress, circumstances etc.
Are human beings basically weak by nature or does circumstances have any role to play in this? Should they just expect these things to happen at some point in the life or is there a way to be strong and fight these desires? Think about it….
Spring is in the air. The 6-8 month long Canadian winter is finally coming to an end. Nature is waking up, earth is booming with fresh life. You can smell the excitement, the energy, the hope in the air, the vibrant colors are back in the malls. It’s the time of the year when the weather becomes unpredictable in GTA with variation of 20-30 degrees. It’s hot one day with +15 Celsius and its freezing the next day with -15 Celsius.
Spring is the time for renewing your life, refueling it by filling the gas tank with higher octane energy, marking new beginnings and for planting the seed for some fresh thinking. It’s the time to emerge from the shadows of hibernation, shake off the lethargy and embrace the future with joy.
It’s the time of the year when people typically do house cleaning. So while you are getting rid of the unwanted stuff from your house, how about applying this same concept to your life this year and use this time of the year to spring clean your mind, your thoughts?
Some of the things that I plan to do this year to prevent my mind from wandering back into the caves of darkness are:
Remove the cob webs from the heart – We all have difficult moments in our life. We come across people who are really mean to us for no reason. We carry the grudge and the complaints in our heart all the time. Some of us including me never every forget the insults and feel the burden and pain deep down inside. Why do we do this? Why can’t we just forgive and forget and move on in the life? I have realized the more we think about those moments the more they hurt. I am going to take the time this year to clean up that clutter in my heart and be more forgiving. I will learn to let go.
“DON'T SWEAT THE PETTY THINGS AND DON'T PET THE SWEATY THINGS.”
Break an old unhealthy habit – Why do we always have to run at 100 miles/hour? Is it a race against time or do we fear that if we don’t run as fast as the next person, we will be crushed/defeated in this race of life? In this sprint of life we pick up a lot of unhealthy habits without even realizing, for example procrastinating, and drinking to beat the stress, over eating. We eat to live and not live to eat and getting high does not get rid of your problems. You have a bad day at work – what do you do? You go back home and take the frustration out on your spouse or your kids as if they had anything to do with it. This year make a commitment to yourself to break away from at least one unhealthy habit.
Speak my mind – How many times do you really speak your mind? Are you afraid of asking questions? Do you think people will think you are stupid in a meeting if you ask that question? No question is considered stupid only if you make an effort to ask. I know it takes a lot of effort to “Call a spade a spade” in front of aggressive people. But trust me you will feel much better if you pour your heart out rather than keeping it inside. So make a promise to yourself, trust your instincts and speak up.
Connect with an old friend – Life goes on. We move from one school to another, one job to another in some cases like me from one country to another several times. We meet a lot of people during this journey, some of which leave an unforgettable impression on our mind and make a special place in our heart. But do we always stay in contact with our old friends? Recently one of my really good friends from school looked me up on the internet and found me on the face book. I can’t express how wonderful it felt to connect back with an old acquaintance. We talked for hours about the fun school days and laughed like crazy. My friend posted a 24 year old class picture from the school time and it left me reminiscing about “The wonder years” of my life. So go ahead and seek out that old friend who you have been procrastinating to connect back with.
Find that swiffer for your mind and heart
Let’s all use this opportunity in life to create a mind that feels shiny as a mirror, fresh as a blooming flower and be ready to face the renewal of spring. Find that swiffer which will enable the mental dusting, cleaning and polishing.
Welcome the spring with open arms into your life and believe me the effort you put in to plant the seeds of happiness in your life and to nurture and guide it in the right direction, it will pay off with the fruits of gratification.
I can’t imagine the number of times I have said this to myself. and its called "Self realization". Come to think of the word “Impossible” and its one of those things that can never happen again at least not in this life for me.
Now that I have 2 boys who are the apple of my eye, so I can indirectly say that god has given me an opportunity to full fill this dream once again. Kids are god’s biggest blessing in this world to human’s. There is so much to learn from them. There have been times when I have said to me “Wow, how can a 5 year old think like a grown up and teach me a valuable lesson”. This past weekend we were driving to a dentist appointment and we were listening to songs on the CD. one of my son's favorite songs started playing and at the very same time me and my wife started talking, my son sitting in his car seat says cutely from behind "Mummy you need to concentrate on being quite as i need to concentrate on this song and daddy needs to really concentrate on driving so we can get to the dentist as fast as possible" and we couldn't stop laughing for the rest of our journey.
So what are these things that we have forgotten in this world full of stress, worries and responsibilities?
Having pure, simple fun – If you have carefully noticed a 5 year watch his favorite cartoon or make a funny face and moo like a cow, or play peek a boo, you will know what I am talking about. What ever they do, they are fully engrossed in it unlike adults who have a million things going on in their mind all the time. Our mind is always preoccupied with the stress of work, relationships, money, mortgage etc. "The more the merrier" has become our lives motto due to which there is always something which takes higher priority over enjoying the life truly like a child. We are stuck in a rut. We have forgotten how to live in the moment. How many times have you stopped to enjoy the sun rise or waited for the sun set or for that matter visited a scenic place to cherish the nature? I drive on the same highway everyday to get to work in the wee hours and I have never ever bothered to appreciate the beauty of sun rise. My mind is usually preoccupied with planning for work or figuring out which lane is going faster or getting irritated over why people do not indicate before changing the lane?
Unconditional love – For this you have really got to be a child. The love and affection that a child depicts whether its towards his parents or his friends has no strings attached to it, this is something which grown ups probably never do. We tend to measure our love with how much is reciprocated back to us. Why do we do this? Why can’t we stop being selfish for once and learn the true meaning of unconditional love.
Forgive and forget – Now this is really a child’s prerogative. Have you noticed how many times we shout at our children and they simple forgive and forget all those times? Do you ever do that if another grown up does that to you or you boss shouts at you for no reason or a fight with your significant other? Now some of you will argue against it. Look deep inside and be honest with yourself. Do you really forget these incidents or do they keep haunting you again and again?
Express your true feelings – How many times have you truly, honestly expressed your feelings to another person? A child lives in present. Past or future has no meaning to a child. When he is upset he will not think twice before expressing it. Do you "call a spade a spade"? We as grown ups tend to weigh every word we speak and our every action although this is easier said than done because sometimes we just speak and regret it later. "What will the other person think of me if I do this or say this" - the simple thought of this prevents us from being honest. My point is that a child never ever cares, he is honest and speaks from his heart.
Sleep like a baby - How many of us are blessed with sound 7-8 hour sleep every night? There are so many adults who suffer from insomnia or other sleep disorders. Most of these are related to stress and worries which is related to not being able to shut out mind when trying to fall asleep, in fact a lot of us stay half awake worrying about whether the alarm would go off in the morning or not.
We all have an "inner child" inside all of us but we do not let it out for several reasons. I can go on and on but these are some of the important things that matter the most.
So I will end this post with me and my son's favorite song from the "3 idiots" -
“Give me some sunshine, give me some rain, give me another chance, I want to grow up once again!!”
What is “Destiny”? Is it something you can control? Is it the same as “Fate”? Can you do anything to control it? Destiny and Fate are used inter changeable quite often but do they mean the same? The technical definition of these two words is quite interesting.
“Fate” is an outcome determined by an outside agency acting upon a person or entity; but with “Destiny” the entity is participating in achieving an outcome that is directly related to itself. Modern usage defines fate as a power or agency that predetermines and orders the course of events. Fate defines events as ordered or "inevitable". Fate is used in regard to the finality of events as they have worked themselves out; and that same sense of finality, projected into the future to become the inevitability of events as they will work themselves out, is Destiny.
Some people don’t believe in this theory at all. They are clairvoyant and believe that “A person makes his own destiny” This may be true. However you’re “Attitude” has a big role to play here. Some people feel very nervous when they are in situations where they are not in control of the events or the things that are happening to them.
Some also say that you pay for your sins in this same life and this makes it their “Fate”. Take for example a person who is suffering from a fatal disease or even for that matter a medical condition for which the treatment is next to impossible or the surgical treatment carries such high risk that the person would rather choose to live with it instead of go through the surgical intervention. What would you call this? Is it his “fate”? Does it mean he has sinned earlier in his life for which he is now paying for?
It’s all about “Attitude” and how you react to it. You can choose to accept it as your “Fate” and suffer your whole life or you change your attitude and learn to fight it. A great way to shut the pain is to ignore it all together. Now this is easier said than done but it is possible. I am speaking from personal experience. It’s also called “Awareness”. You have arms and legs and their purpose is to help the motion of your body. You carry on with your daily chores without being aware of them. But on one fine day you have a pain in the leg and you become “aware” of it. The more you pay attention to it the more it hurts. But if you ignore it and shift the focus of your mind to something else you will realize that the pain doesn’t feel as bad or it sometimes vanishes. At that point you may or may not choose to treat it.
“Not complaining is sometimes viewed as the most valued complaint.”
I am not saying you adopt the same attitude towards the problems in your life or at work. I have worked for and with people who shut their eyes to the problems and hope that they would go away. Believe me - it’s incredibly pain full to work for such people. Problems do not go away on their own, you are just ignoring them and leaving someone else to fight with them and find a solution. This is what I call as being “Ignorant”. This can back fire and prove fatal at times.
I do agree with the group that strongly believes in being control of their own destiny. At the same time I feel that it takes a great deal of positive attitude to achieve that state. Being in consulting world I am a firm believer of the quote “The only thing constant is the change”. So as long as you believe in yourself and are receptive to adjust, accommodate and factor for the “Unexpected” you will control your own destiny. And more than ever you need to forget the “past”, believe in “today” and not worry about the “future”.
Like the great master Oogway in the movie Kung Fu Panda says “Yesterday is a history, tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift which is why it’s called present”.
My blog has been diagnosed with a terminal condition called ACDS or Acute Comments Deficiency Syndrome.Its been in the BICU(Blog Intensive Care Unit)since the last few days. Its condition is critical and deteriorating day by day. The Doctor has recommended a high dosage of comments and blessings to keep it alive. So, if you took out time to read this post, be kind enough to take out some more time to leave a comment. Your few more moments may add few more moments to its life. May God bless you and your blog.
