I want to be a child again

I can’t imagine the number of times I have said this to myself. and its called "Self realization". Come to think of the word “Impossible” and its one of those things that can never happen again at least not in this life for me.

Now that I have 2 boys who are the apple of my eye, so I can indirectly say that god has given me an opportunity to full fill this dream once again. Kids are god’s biggest blessing in this world to human’s. There is so much to learn from them. There have been times when I have said to me “Wow, how can a 5 year old think like a grown up and teach me a valuable lesson”. This past weekend we were driving to a dentist appointment and we were listening to songs on the CD. one of my son's favorite songs started playing and at the very same time me and my wife started talking, my son sitting in his car seat says cutely from behind "Mummy you need to concentrate on being quite as i need to concentrate on this song and daddy needs to really concentrate on driving so we can get to the dentist as fast as possible" and we couldn't stop laughing for the rest of our journey.

So what are these things that we have forgotten in this world full of stress, worries and responsibilities?

Having pure, simple fun – If you have carefully noticed a 5 year watch his favorite cartoon or make a funny face and moo like a cow, or play peek a boo, you will know what I am talking about. What ever they do, they are fully engrossed in it unlike adults who have a million things going on in their mind all the time. Our mind is always preoccupied with the stress of work, relationships, money, mortgage etc. "The more the merrier" has become our lives motto due to which there is always something which takes higher priority over enjoying the life truly like a child. We are stuck in a rut. We have forgotten how to live in the moment. How many times have you stopped to enjoy the sun rise or waited for the sun set or for that matter visited a scenic place to cherish the nature? I drive on the same highway everyday to get to work in the wee hours and I have never ever bothered to appreciate the beauty of sun rise. My mind is usually preoccupied with planning for work or figuring out which lane is going faster or getting irritated over why people do not indicate before changing the lane?

Unconditional love – For this you have really got to be a child. The love and affection that a child depicts whether its towards his parents or his friends has no strings attached to it, this is something which grown ups probably never do. We tend to measure our love with how much is reciprocated back to us. Why do we do this? Why can’t we stop being selfish for once and learn the true meaning of unconditional love.

Forgive and forget – Now this is really a child’s prerogative. Have you noticed how many times we shout at our children and they simple forgive and forget all those times? Do you ever do that if another grown up does that to you or you boss shouts at you for no reason or a fight with your significant other? Now some of you will argue against it. Look deep inside and be honest with yourself. Do you really forget these incidents or do they keep haunting you again and again?

Express your true feelings – How many times have you truly, honestly expressed your feelings to another person? A child lives in present. Past or future has no meaning to a child. When he is upset he will not think twice before expressing it. Do you "call a spade a spade"? We as grown ups tend to weigh every word we speak and our every action although this is easier said than done because sometimes we just speak and regret it later. "What will the other person think of me if I do this or say this" - the simple thought of this prevents us from being honest. My point is that a child never ever cares, he is honest and speaks from his heart.

Sleep like a baby - How many of us are blessed with sound 7-8 hour sleep every night? There are so many adults who suffer from insomnia or other sleep disorders. Most of these are related to stress and worries which is related to not being able to shut out mind when trying to fall asleep, in fact a lot of us stay half awake worrying about whether the alarm would go off in the morning or not.

We all have an "inner child" inside all of us but we do not let it out for several reasons. I can go on and on but these are some of the important things that matter the most.

So I will end this post with me and my son's favorite song from the "3 idiots" -

“Give me some sunshine, give me some rain, give me another chance, I want to grow up once again!!”

Are we overprotecting our children?

As a kid i was always pampered by my mom and my grandfather. To a large extent i enjoyed being treated that way. Its always a nice feeling to know that there is someone who will be there for you no matter what the circumstances be and will be there to protect you if things go wrong. It's that feeling of being protected which a child gets from being in the mother's laps by clinging on to her.

But the questions I ask myself now , having become a parent are:
1) Are we over protecting our kids?
2) Is providing a shield to our kids all the time the right way to go about it?
3) Will it actually help build the personality of our children or will it make them weak?
4) Will they be able to face the challenges of life independently when they grow up or will they chicken out and quit?
5) Do they need to experience every situation before they will learn from it or can they just learn from our experiences?

The answers to most of these questions aren't always as easy as "Yes/No". It sometimes takes more than just love, affection, feelings to be honest and answer them correctly.

So how do you decide what is too much and when to just take a step back and let your child figure it out on his/her own? Does having more gray hair make you the best judge in all situations. I know its hard not to try and solve every single problem of your own child, I mean how can you not? Its your own blood, a mother has had to nourish the child in her womb for 9 months and then go through the intense child birth experience before even getting to see and hold the child. Does having the cord attached with your child for 9 months mean that the parents have an invisible cord attached with the child for the rest of their life?

Sometimes its more than important to let the child fight their own battles. Sometimes it necessary to let them fall and get hurt and then give them Band aid rather than just describing what it means to get hurt. Its the only way they will learn to face the world. Its critical step to help develop the child's personality. The feeling of fulfillment that your child will get from accomplishing something on their own is hard to describe in words. Sometimes letting go is much important than holding back....